the last few days have been…interesting. my due date was the 14th. my mom came into town on the 9th in case lobo came early and my dad and brother came in on the 13th (and were scheduled to leave tomorrow) so they could be here for the baby’s birth and hang out for a few days afterward. i told them that due dates are approximate, but i think that point might have been missed.
anyway, i think they (and me too) were expecting to just be here for a few days and then there would be a new grandbaby to play with. but lobo is still hanging out. inside my body. not outside. inside.
and i’ve been feeling completely insane. first, i’m super anxious to meet him. i’m also really uncomfortable and bored since i’ve stopped working and have no more laundry or any baby prep i can possibly do. my hormones are going crazy, sleep is difficult, and the waiting game has been getting to me. my folks have just been hanging out around the house, acting like they’re not waiting for me to go into labor, but we all have been a bit on edge. i hesitate to go take them touring around chicago in case my water breaks or something and there’s only so much we can do in the neighborhood.
i got really irritated and antsy and anxious and they got pretty hovery. and the phone keeps ringing with people texting or calling asking where the baby is and do i have any idea when the baby is coming, etc. and it all built up to a point where i felt more crazy than i have in a long time. probably ever.
so i asked my brother to take them out of the house. i feel bad that they came all this way to sit on my couch and watch tv and wanted them to at least go and do something. i also needed a break. so they went to the art institute on monday, hung out around the neighborhood on tuesday, and are at the field museum today. a-game has been a real lifesaver and has met me for a few coffee dates which i spent venting. and matt has been an amazing sport - cooking dinner for the family, making me laugh, reminding me to relax and that it’s all fine.
and i had a revelation last night. my family is all here because they are so excited to meet him. friends and family are calling and texting asking about the baby because they’re excited too. i’m feeling so antsy because all i want is to see him and start our life with him. basically, it’s all out of love and joy that people have been asking and visiting and such.
more importantly, i realized that just because we’re so ready to meet him doesn’t mean that he’s quite ready to meet us. lobo will come when he feels like it’s time (unless i have to get induced which would likely happen sunday if he hasn’t come yet. i am hoping to avoid this but have fully realized these things are out of my control). i’ve been so irritated the past few days, getting impatient with him, jokingly spanking his little butt, telling him he’s grounded, and pleading with him to come out. but last night, i decided to stop that. i rubbed my stomach for a good half hour and had a long talk with him. just telling him how much love and excitement is waiting for him. there all kinds of good things on the other side of this skin wall that separates us. and we’ll be ready for him whenever he decides to come. so he should take his time, come when he’s ready, and we will be here. ready to celebrate.