things i love about the west coast

• t-bag and ice k’s new home in portland. they fit right in. and they feed me, and make me laugh, and hate on people with me, and feed me some more, and have awesome friends and cats, and know all the cool hikes, and t-bag took me to the prettiest wedding dress store ever, and i miss her terribly and wish there was a way for us all to live in the cities that suit us best at this point in time but still could get together for dinner, or for gossip, or for drinks, or for shopping. if i had a magic power, that would be it (and maybe the ability to call bullshit when/wherever possible).
• my family. there really is nothing like coming home. i always feel so much more relaxed and like time isn’t nearly as much of a concern. they know me exactly as i am, are interested in the ways i’ve grown, are incredibly excited about the engagement, and things are truly effortless in the important ways when i’m with them. we also saw relatives that i haven’t seen in 10+ years. we drank wine and yammered loudly for hours as though no time had passed at all (which also probably has something to do that we both like to drink wine and yammer loudly).
• my parents say/do the cutest things. example - they are obsessed with the olive garden. they think it is the absolute best restaurant ever. when friends come from korea, they are supposed to take them to the best restaurants to show them what the u.s. has to offer. my parents always take them to the olive garden. we went to a new olive garden this time around (they wanted to know how it would taste) and my dad immediately asked the host what era of italian history inspired their interior decorating (not as a joke). then he had me steal a menu on the way out. this is the first time he has encouraged any kind of delinquent behavior at all. also, my mom is really cute when she tries to do dailey method moves with me from their workout dvd.
• my brother knows all kinds of crazy stuff about science, art, the environment, etc. i feel like it’s a crash course in all things nerdy whenever i’m around him.
• many friends who i’ve known forever are around in the la area and we always have to eat ridiculous things when we’re together. tons of korean food, soup dumplings, frozen yogurt, poutine, izakaya food, mexican. 

it’s a little weird, to feel so at home and have people who define you in multiple places. when i’m in chicago, i’m so comfortable and happy with our little life while a part of me misses my family and friends in california. when i’m on the west coast, i miss matt and benny and our home so much it almost hurts at times.

i don’t really know how to put the weirdness into words. maybe it’s that the people on the west coast have known me either since i was born or since i was very very small. and as i grow and move around, i accrue more people i hold close to my heart. and these newer people know different pieces of me or know me in changing contexts. so there’s something about jumping around between people from what feels like past lives (although the relationships are certainly not something of the past) and our ever-changing present lives that makes me feel like i’m getting reacquainted with previous versions of myself which can be grounding and slightly disorienting at the same time.